3 Strategies to Give you Peace and Joy this Christmas

Are you already cringing inside as you think about tough situations that are coming your way over the holidays? This is the season of peace and joy and it's understandable to want to experience that fully. But we all have that one friend or family member that seems bent on making it a season of chaos and angst instead. Here are a few strategies to help you navigate this season without feeling completely drained by it.

1. Identify what specific aspects you are worried about.

Worry and anxiety are usually around when our body knows that something is uncomfortable and it wants to protect you. By taking a few minutes to tune in and explore what the anxiety is trying to protect you from, you may be able to identify specific scenarios you'd like to avoid. For example, "Sarah" was upset because her husband threw a huge dinner party every Christmas Day which meant that she had to clean up after all of the kid's Christmas presents, clean the house, and set a pristine table on Christmas Day. Every year she was depleted and spent by the end of the day. When she mentioned this to him, he was angry and accused her of being selfish, so she felt trapped into moving forward each and every year. Naming this as the source of her anxiety helped her develop boundaries and solutions that honored her holiday wishes as well.

2. Set Boundaries around the people and activities that bring you joy

As women, we are actively focused on making holiday dreams come true for those around us and we sometimes lose sight of our own needs and desires. What do YOU want your holidays to look like? If you had to take a look at your calendar and your

traditions, which of them bring you joy and fulfillment? Which of them bring dread? It's perfectly okay to cross off those things that bring dread or set limits around how much time/money/effort you are willing to pour into them. Perhaps your work party can be a "No" or the homemade Christmas cookies can be store bought instead. Simple and small changes can make a huge impact on your stress level

3. Have an exit strategy ready

   Your emotional safety is incredibly important, and as a capable adult woman, you can meet those needs. Isn't that great news?! So what does that look like?

   Let's say, for example, "Linda" worries about her father's drinking. He always overdoes it on the holidays and gets inappropriate or angry with her kids. She feels like she has to see her parents on Christmas, but it always ends in crying. Linda realized that she was comfortable going over there, but if her father was pouring is second drink, that was their cue to leave. She let other supportive family members know so that they would back her up, and she was able to leave without tears for the first time in years.

   
   

   Even if the person causing chaos is in your home, you can still find strategies to protect your peace. Feel free to take a walk, put on noise canceling headphones with your favorite soothing music, or simply go to a different room for awhile and call a supportive friend. By planning ahead, you will be prepared to protect yourself without having to solve the issue in an emotionally charged moment.

   
   

   Your peace and joy matter. Praying that "His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus". Merry Christmas, friend!